I don't even know what to call this post, so it will have to remain titleless.

Yes, it's been a long time! If rumors in the blogging world are as potent as rumors in my hometown then I'm sure you all think I'm six feet under. I've debated A LOT about blogging regarding my absence and the final conclusion I've come to is this: my blog has become a journal for me in the past few years. It is an outlet, a place where I can vent, express creativity, get feedback...it's not just a journal, but a journey. So, here goes.

On March 3rd I had my tonsils taken out. After three episodes of strep throat this year I'd had it! I figured it was time. The kids were going to be with their Dad in Florida for Spring Break and I had someone to stay with me to take care of me so the timing seemed right.

My surgery went without complication. In fact, on Friday I went to High Point to buy a dining room table! Thank you Hydrocodone for making me think the amount I spent was A DEAL. Hah. Whatever, I love the table and wouldn't do it differently.

By Saturday I was really starting to have a lot of pain and had pretty much stopped eating. By Sunday, I had stopped drinking, too. My only intake was the liquid Hydrocodone that I had been prescribed for pain and Ambien to help sleep. By Monday, I was taking Extra Strength Tylenol and Motrin ON TOP of my Hydrocodone which also had Tylenol in it. With no other food or drink. Can you say stupid? Leave it to a nurse to think all that "Tylenol toxicity" stuff wasn't for real.

Thankfully, my friend who was staying with me noted my irrational behavior and took me to the ER. Long story short: my liver enzymes were found to be off the charts...WAY off the charts. My kidneys were failing as well. I was answering questions appropriately but my behavior was far from normal (drawing circles on my admission forms instead of filling them out properly). I was flown from my local hospital to the University of Virginia Hospital. My husband (from whom I'm separated but thank goodness have a good relationship) was still my medical power of attorney. He graciously allowed the good doctors at UVA to intubate me (note the sarcasm there?) and put me on a ventilator. I remained that way for two days, while it was debated whether or not a hole should be drilled in my head to relieve pressure on my brain and how soon I should receive a liver transplant. No joke.
On Thursday, I woke up. Not happy. At all. My whole family was there. Everyone seemed really serious. I had some idea of what had happened, but really no idea at all.

My first concern was my kids. What would they think? What would happen to them? Where were they? My family quickly assured me that they were fine and on the way back from Disney with their Dad. I did not want them to see me in the hospital. Their Dad, again very graciously, drove the two hours to see me and brought my "friend" with him. I had been removed from the ventilator but my troubles were far from over. I was carrying roughly 50 lbs. of fluid weight and faced dialysis and the continued concern over my liver and kidneys.

A dialysis catheter was placed and I received my first round of dialysis on Friday. I was transferred out of the ICU. I spent the next week and a half in the hospital receiving dialysis and recovering. I was discharged a month ago and have SLOWLY recovered at home. No more dialysis, liver is fine, kidneys are fine, I am SO LUCKY. Can't take Tylenol if I have a headache, but SO LUCKY!!! My stepmom stayed with me for two weeks. I seriously could not have made it without Mimi! My house has never been so clean. My friends have been sending meal after meal and have been so generous.

Needless to say, having all that time to lie in a hospital bed gives you lots of time to ponder your life, your priorities, what's real and what's not...

I'm so appreciative...so much MORE appreciative, that is, of my family and all that they mean to me and do for me. I'm not in a HURRY to move on with my life after divorce, but I'm certainly sure of the choices I've made and look forward to the future. It's hard to cherish everyday when you're exhausted and not completely recovered, but I'm trying. I still don't think I have a full realization of what happened. My friend is more a part of my life than ever and is truly my angel. Were it not for him I would surely be dead. Thank goodness he had the good sense to take me to the hospital, despite my apparent demands that he not (I don't remember anything after Sunday, so I can't argue with what I've been told!).

My kids are doing GREAT. They were so spoiled the entire time..they're none the wiser! My new home is framed, roof is in place, and we're moving on! More on that later.

Another thing I became very clear about while hospitalized was what I really want to do in the future. I've renewed my nursing license, but that's not at all what I want to do for life. Sooooo...in the next day or so I'll be unveiling my newest venture. Stay tuned!

Design Help!

I need your help! Picking light fixtures for my new home has been a challenge. I love SO many different things. The lighting allowance provided by the builder is a joke so I've just decided to pick what I like and not stress about the pricing too much. I think lighting adds such character to a home and since this will be a brand new build I'm hoping to have as much character as possible.

So, my first issue has been BabyGirl's room. Here is a photo of her current room. Her room in the new house will be very similar, but will only have one window (yes, one of those valances will be for sale soon!).




The fabric is so perfect for her: a kind of oriental flair with lots of animals but still very feminine. It's primary colors are pink, green and khaki. Since it does have that oriental flair and I wanted something a little funky that would grow with her, I picked this chandelier from Shades of Light. I'm thinking of either no shades or some light pink shades.



Of course, BabyGirl has other ideas. She prefers these options from Posh Tots and Pottery Barn Teen.




Now, to add more confusion, the green bamboo chandelier would look great in my guest room as well...




I just don't know what to do. Therefore...I'm asking your advice! Please see the poll above and cast your vote!

Remember these little cuties?

Several posts back I posted some photos I took of a friend's twins. They are so adorable! I was lucky enough to get to shoot them again this weekend. It was a short session but we got some great shots! It's hard to believe how quickly they've grown...







Now, for all you camera gurus out there I have a question: I recently purchased the D90 and have been using it with my Sigma 50mm 1/1.4 lens. I have LOVED this lens in the past but I'm not having as much luck with the D90. I feel like my photos should be more crisp, more clear, and require less editing. Of course, this from the girl who bought a book explaining the camera and hasn't read it. Any thoughts?

Long time, no talk!

I'll be posting soon about all the fun things I've picked out for the new house! BTW...I decided to go for the lot at the top of the hill. It's on a culdesac as as well and the cost difference wasn't enough to justify not having that view!

For now, head over and check out Preppy Napkin's new look! She's also got a great giveaway going on that you don't want to miss. A preppy pink and green handpainted cocktail napkin holder.





Leave a comment, become a follower and she will enter your name in the drawing.
If you post this giveaway on your blog, she'll enter your name twice.


Good Luck!


expires Saturday the 20th

And on a lighter note...

You simply MUST SEE...

The Young Victoria.

SUCH a great movie. Emily Blunt is AMAZING. I hated her in The Devil Wears Prada but I so loved her in this film. What I also loved about this film was that it was an incredibly informative historical movie (now I know where "Victoria and Albert's" comes from at Disneyworld LOL) but it wasn't dull and long like most historical movies.

The love story was perfectly played out. Couldn't recommend it more...

Authenticity

As part of my New Year's resolution (and I'm sure a gazillion other people's resolutions) I committed to working out more this year. Not necessarily for weight loss (although losing that extra 20 lbs. wouldn't hurt), but for health and peace of mind. I say PEACE because I could use a little!

As I walked on the treadmill yesterday I saw that Rosie O'Donnell was on Oprah. I'm really not a Rosie fan. I mean, REALLY not a Rosie fan. I hate her political views and I find her abrasive and annoying. For some reason, however, I felt the need to listen. As I listened, I felt so incredibly enlightened. She talked about her kids, her value of family, and her constant CRAVING to live an authentic life. I've heard Oprah talk about living an authentic life for years now. I kind of brushed it off as bunk and moved on. Whatever. Authentic? How can you get more authentic than the everyday chaos of babies, diapers, carpool, dinner, sleepless nights, potty training, etc?

The past few months, however, have made me re-evaluate my version of an authentic life. I've had to be honest with myself. I mean...REALLY honest. Hearing Rosie say that it was so telling to her to know that her kids knew she was happy once she was living a truly authentic life almost made me fall off the treadmill. IT IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. My kids have even made a point of telling me that throughout this separation and divorce they can tell that I'm happier, and in their own words, living a more authentic life. The things that I valued before aren't so important anymore. I'm vividly aware of the fact that a: I married too young and b: I married a man who I thought I could change (and Dad PLEASE don't perseverate on this) and was too old for me. We had more of a parent-child relationship than a husband-wife relationship. That is not to say that he did't teach me A LOT. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to make me happy.

I have to give tons of credit to my soon to be ex-husband because he really has handled this situation with as much class and grace as possible. We certainly have our moments, but I'm SO happy and relieved to know that in the end, we will always be friends and we both have our children's interests at heart. We were and always will be a family, traditional or not. We still have dinner together once a week...he's started calling me with dating questions (awkward!), and I do value his opinion on certain issues, as he does mine.

I guess my point is that the big D word isn't always the kiss of death. Yes, I'm happy. I've moved on. Has he? Will he ever really? I doubt it. But that's just who he is and I have to accept that.

In my twenties I always thought that 35 was REALLY old. Now, I can't wait to turn 40! My 30's (and I'm just barely 34) have been such a learning experience. I'm ready for the real fun and the true AUTHENTICITY.

Text me...

A friend of mine asked her three kids what their New Year's Resolutions would be this year. Her 14 year old daughter said "to text more", which I thought was hilarious.
Hilarious, that is, until I got my latest Verizon bill. With $50 dollars worth up up charges for texting. It's funny...I thought that the premium texting charge meant you could text your little heart out and not get charged extra. Silly me. 776texts later, and I'll be storming the Verizon store this morning to change my account! A special thanks to all my friends with i phones.

Of course, being 33 and texting makes me feel very cool for some reason. Young and hip and all that...
Alas, I am young and hip no longer. Yesterday I traded my Volvo station wagon in for a Toyota Sienna minivan. I was leaning toward a Suburban. I just really wanted more space for the kids to spread out and quit touching each other in the car! Well, my friend insisted that I atleast test drive the Sienna Limited that had been sitting at our local dealer for a while. It's got all the bells and whistles...more than I need really. I have to say, after one afternoon I was pretty convinced. By the end of a very SILENT carpool with three five year olds watching the DVD player and not pissing and moaning all the way home I was officially hooked. I am loving that car! Yet another thing I said I would never do and here I am...pimpin around town in the mini. Gotta love it.

Have a great weekend!

XOXO Sippycups