Sooo, how've you been?

I've had a lot of readers ask. Obviously, we've had some major life changes around here in the past few years. I had posted about it and then took those posts down. I thought I'd post them again, and then reconsidered.

I guess now I feel okay posting about it because I think it's important for people to know that divorce isn't the end. It just isn't. My exhusband and I had been married for almost ten years. When we married, I was 23 and he was 40. LOTS of age difference, lots of difference in opinion. I, naively, thought I could change him and make him less opinionated, less angry, more fun, more sympathetic and empathetic toward other people. After ten years, I just stopped trying. I spent a LOOOONG time faking it because as a young woman my mother did insist to me that sometimes in marriage you just need to fake it to make it work. I get that. I just couldn't let my kids be constantly exposed to his brand of insanity and think that was normal. Couldn't let them think that talking about certain people or treating certain people differently because of the color of their skin was okay. It's just not. I couldn't fake it anymore.
So, I walked away. He was shocked. I guess he didn't want to accept that there was a problem, or that he had possibly done anything wrong. Ok, fine, but I was done.
The kids and I moved out because he refused. After a few weeks, I reconnected with an old flame on facebook. We talked and talked and talked. All of the immaturity that had existed ten years prior was gone and all the good things we loved about one another remained. Our relationship continued to flourish and we started dating long distance. The fact that he was no longer a super sexy athelete and was now a paraplegic as a result of a car wreck didn't phase me a bit. He was still super sexy to me and even more sexy was the way he treated me and the way he loved me and my kids.
All that time, my exhusband and I remained friends. We vacationed together with the kids (and the new boyfriend) and really had an amiable break up. He finally admitted that we really were done and had been for a long time.
Last January, several months after my divorce was final, Jeremie and I got married. He lives in Virginia now and owns his own insurance company. Our day to day is that of a normal family of four and sometimes five when the kids' dad is over. We all get along really well and are hopeful that the kids' dad will find his own someone special.
I think a lot of people WANTED there to be acrimony in our life and tension and stress and drama. It simply wasn't the case and for the kids' sake I am so thankful.
So, here's telling you that while divorce sucks, and there are terrible consequences for families and children, it can be done civilly and families can move on and get along. Just keep the kids' best interests at heart and you can't fail. They are the most important product of your marriage and they deserve your best go at it.